Your first unsure steps to
confident run, from blabber to clear meaningful sentences, everything kept us
engaged. As if life had in its folds new miracles to gift us every day. How can
I ever forget your first day at play-school. Everybody around was so happy! Only
I was the one who was rather sad. School meant that you would be away from me
for at least 2 hours every day. And also ‘cause, then onwards perhaps your real inevitable
struggle to make a place of your own in this big uncertain world was starting. You
entered your playway holding my finger. You went inside and I imagined that any
moment some teacher or attendant will come out holding my baby crying
uncontrollably. But I was wrong again! You took to school like a fish to water!
You insistence to go to school even on Sundays gave us many tough times.
It is never easy to be the
mother of a hyperactive kid. You always seemed to have abundance of energy,
which never exhausted. Entire day, after taking care of household chores,
running behind you for bathing, feeding, acting out funny stories and what not,
I just wanted to fall dead on bed at night. But you always kept me up well past
11, not to mention the midnight and early morning wake-up calls. Your teachers
termed you ‘living tornado’ and advised me to put you into some kind of
physical activity that eats up that extra energy. I did put you into Tennis.
But even that proved to be just insufficient. Since then, I reluctantly turned
up at every PTM in your school, fully knowing, word by word, all the complaints
that teachers would have piled against you. Initially I used to feel awful,
frustrated and took you to task for every nuisance you supposedly created in
your class. I admit that I also fell into the rut of measuring you against the
yardstick thrust in my hand by the society. I rebuked, yelled and tried to
emotionally blackmail you by crying bitterly. But then you were as you were. I
finally gave up and bought myself some peace of mind. The blame also goes to
your dad who always stood for you with ‘let-her-be’ chants. Now I know I was at
fault.
Very early on you exhibited
signs of a confident, strong and bit diplomatic persona. You waved off any
comparisons or any examples I tried
to set before you. If I tried to ‘motivate’ you by citing examples of
always-on-the-top kids, you retorted,” You are comparing me with somebody
else”, making me feel as I had committed one the most heinous crimes. If
somebody said, ‘apply milk and honey pack on her skin, her complexion would
improve’, you said,”all sports girl have darker complexion, so what!” You
always seem to have your answers ready, some intelligent, some eyebrow-raising
but intelligent nonetheless. Accept-me-as-I-am is the maxim you are born with.
But sweety! Improvement doesn’t mean you are trying to be somebody else!!
On so many occasions, I
found this mother-daughter relationship reversed. In the last decade, in my
endeavour to raise you as a responsible, well learned, intellectual and decent
person, I found myself at receiving end for the lessons you were destined to
teach me. Patience and compassion are perhaps the first lessons every mother
learns while giving birth and the raising the child. But there was more…
I remember when you was to
turn 5, I constantly tried to make you a bit responsible by telling you that
now you are going to be a big baby, so you are supposed to do this, do that!
You were all excited about growing big on your birthday. I didn’t know when you
took my words literally. On your 5th birthday, you woke up quite early
and straightaway sprinted to the mirror in the room. You let out a horrible cry.
I rushed in anticipation of an emergency and found you crying inconsolably in
front of the mirror. “Mama! I didn’t grow up! I am still small, Will I never
grow up now?” Oh! That made me feel miserable beyond words. I learnt the
important lesson that ‘how you say’
is as important as ‘what you say’. I
must say my classes are still going on!
From rattlers to PSP, from
dolls to tabs and from ‘li’l tomatoes’ to ‘Woodland’, you have really grown up,
taking your own route, following your own mind. Now, when you are pretty
independent for doing your stuff and no more dependent on me for most of daily
routine, I wonder if I have done a good job! I would like to hear from you one
day.
There are tougher times
ahead to deal with for both you and me. You will go through so many changes –
physical, hormonal, emotional, social. I will have so many new roles to play. I
wish myself luck for that. I need it. On your birthday, I just want to say, I
love you…with all my heart, with all my soul and this love is unconditional.
Whatever you do, whatever choices you make in life, you succeed, you fail; you will
always find your parents extending a warm embrace. We promise that we will
trust you rather than the world, will listen to you rather than some third
person. You will always get acceptance in our hearts without tags. Your tag of
being our daughter will suffice for this lifetime.
Picture taken from: inmagine.com
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