My mind is running frantically in all directions, but hitting the same wall. Time is pouring out like sand in hour glass, if I have to do something; it has to be now and fast!
Then…It hits me like bolt, Oh! Would it work! I am hesitant for a moment. But do I have any other plausible option?
All the lessons I learnt, all the practice sessions I underwent in my last meditation retreat are opening instantly in the book of my mind. I see a glimmer of hope, how false it may prove eventually. Only my heart prays it doesn’t. Gathering every bit of courage and wit I start reciting Aum trying to concentrate in the centre of my forehead that I usually do during my mediation sessions. Trying to calm myself despite the circumstances I train my mind towards a single goal.
To my surprise and relief, pressure drops a bit. Hang on…I tell myself…everything is not over. A new hope of survival rushes in fills my every pore.
The opposite force is as unyielding. And the flashes come running again…I see that priest’s chants gaining fervour, his body swaying back and forth briskly. The encircling force again picks grip, pinning me down further. I sharpen my focus on 'Aum', mentally repeating the word with total attention.
I can sense two forces colliding head on…
And then…it breaks…as if a glass casket blew into pieces, sending shards flying far and wide. I am immediately released…a sudden gush of air hits my lungs hard. I tremble…move my fingers, my neck, my feet…I am alive!
Still breathing laboriously I sit up with a jerk. Everything comes alive. The mellow light is pouring through curtains. Aarush is sleeping blissfully unaware, his soft snores now audible. I experience an odd mixture of disbelief, confusion and relief. What was that? Was I dreaming or hallucinating! How could it be real? It all happened in few moments. A moment ago there was a vicious force, tangible, palpable, threatening to crush me under its weight and now everything looking so normal as it never happened. My head has become a whirlpool of questions, ready to drown me in its currents. It is no use waking up Aarush now; anyway there is little he can do. It would be very difficult to explain what happened. When I am staring at doubts clouding my mind, Will he believe?
It is been two day since that strange, spooky incident happened. I haven’t talked to anyone in the house about it. I know they will laugh it off. I wish I could do the same or at least could push it out of mind for few sane seconds. I am going through every routine mechanically with a heavy lead placed in my head. My eyes are droopy for lack of sleep and meditation sessions disturbed. I realize I am getting wary of concentrating, for the fear of those visions, the fear so real that I can feel it breathing down my neck.
Still the strangest part is…that I do feel a pure energy coursing through me. I fought and thwarted that power…whatever it was. It’s oddly victorious…still mind keeps oscillating between extremes.
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