Saturday 5 January 2013

I talk to My Daughter on her Turning 10 - II




Your first unsure steps to confident run, from blabber to clear meaningful sentences, everything kept us engaged. As if life had in its folds new miracles to gift us every day. How can I ever forget your first day at play-school. Everybody around was so happy! Only I was the one who was rather sad. School meant that you would be away from me for at least 2 hours every day. And also ‘cause, then onwards perhaps your real inevitable struggle to make a place of your own in this big uncertain world was starting. You entered your playway holding my finger. You went inside and I imagined that any moment some teacher or attendant will come out holding my baby crying uncontrollably. But I was wrong again! You took to school like a fish to water! You insistence to go to school even on Sundays gave us many tough times.

It is never easy to be the mother of a hyperactive kid. You always seemed to have abundance of energy, which never exhausted. Entire day, after taking care of household chores, running behind you for bathing, feeding, acting out funny stories and what not, I just wanted to fall dead on bed at night. But you always kept me up well past 11, not to mention the midnight and early morning wake-up calls. Your teachers termed you ‘living tornado’ and advised me to put you into some kind of physical activity that eats up that extra energy. I did put you into Tennis. But even that proved to be just insufficient. Since then, I reluctantly turned up at every PTM in your school, fully knowing, word by word, all the complaints that teachers would have piled against you. Initially I used to feel awful, frustrated and took you to task for every nuisance you supposedly created in your class. I admit that I also fell into the rut of measuring you against the yardstick thrust in my hand by the society. I rebuked, yelled and tried to emotionally blackmail you by crying bitterly. But then you were as you were. I finally gave up and bought myself some peace of mind. The blame also goes to your dad who always stood for you with ‘let-her-be’ chants. Now I know I was at fault.

Very early on you exhibited signs of a confident, strong and bit diplomatic persona. You waved off any comparisons or any examples I tried to set before you. If I tried to ‘motivate’ you by citing examples of always-on-the-top kids, you retorted,” You are comparing me with somebody else”, making me feel as I had committed one the most heinous crimes. If somebody said, ‘apply milk and honey pack on her skin, her complexion would improve’, you said,”all sports girl have darker complexion, so what!” You always seem to have your answers ready, some intelligent, some eyebrow-raising but intelligent nonetheless. Accept-me-as-I-am is the maxim you are born with. But sweety! Improvement doesn’t mean you are trying to be somebody else!!

On so many occasions, I found this mother-daughter relationship reversed. In the last decade, in my endeavour to raise you as a responsible, well learned, intellectual and decent person, I found myself at receiving end for the lessons you were destined to teach me. Patience and compassion are perhaps the first lessons every mother learns while giving birth and the raising the child. But there was more…

I remember when you was to turn 5, I constantly tried to make you a bit responsible by telling you that now you are going to be a big baby, so you are supposed to do this, do that! You were all excited about growing big on your birthday. I didn’t know when you took my words literally. On your 5th birthday, you woke up quite early and straightaway sprinted to the mirror in the room. You let out a horrible cry. I rushed in anticipation of an emergency and found you crying inconsolably in front of the mirror. “Mama! I didn’t grow up! I am still small, Will I never grow up now?” Oh! That made me feel miserable beyond words. I learnt the important lesson that ‘how you say’ is as important as ‘what you say’. I must say my classes are still going on!

From rattlers to PSP, from dolls to tabs and from ‘li’l tomatoes’ to ‘Woodland’, you have really grown up, taking your own route, following your own mind. Now, when you are pretty independent for doing your stuff and no more dependent on me for most of daily routine, I wonder if I have done a good job! I would like to hear from you one day.

There are tougher times ahead to deal with for both you and me. You will go through so many changes – physical, hormonal, emotional, social. I will have so many new roles to play. I wish myself luck for that. I need it. On your birthday, I just want to say, I love you…with all my heart, with all my soul and this love is unconditional. Whatever you do, whatever choices you make in life, you succeed, you fail; you will always find your parents extending a warm embrace. We promise that we will trust you rather than the world, will listen to you rather than some third person. You will always get acceptance in our hearts without tags. Your tag of being our daughter will suffice for this lifetime.

Picture taken from: inmagine.com

13 comments:

  1. Nothing can surpass the sweetness that exists between a mother and a child :-)

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    1. That's true. Once a mother, always a mother!

      Thanks for reading!

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  2. Oh so cute! You will surely relate to my post. Luv and hugs to your little angel!

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  3. First things first...Wish your daughter a very happy birthday...!!!

    Many things to ponder on the parenting of child is concerned...one thing that i use to make was to compare with myself...whenever i have to do better...i would say...i would try a bit more than what i did in my last best attempt...when i am wrong...i make a point to notice the faults and try not to repeat them again...

    what i GAINED from this post...growing up doesn't mean growing with height...or strength...it's the mental growth and i am sure your daughter would have had a lot of growth in these 10 years...

    Lovely post...might be useful for me in 10 years(10 years is too long i suppose i would be 35 by then)...!!!

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    1. Thank for your wishes, Anjan! Today's kids are really smart, call it environment effect but they do know and understand lots that we did at our times. 10 years hence I would love to hear your experience:)

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  4. What a pleasure it is to see the child take those first few steps on their own, My cousins (2) of them have had babies and they are at the age where they are taking those first steps and each day I get so many pictures and message .. the excitement in them can be seen .. WOW..

    beautifully written .. loved it

    Bikram's

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    1. Thank you so much, Bikram. This experience is divine and the pleasure is unmatched. One kids gets the entire household engaged with her antics.

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  5. an awesome awesome read!!! there are so many wow moments in this post (and in the previous one as well). a very happy birthday to your daughter!!

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    1. Thanks for reading through posts, Deb for they are long ones.

      With so many wishes pouring in, may daughter is sporting a grin, ear to ear!

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  6. Such brutal self-reflection! To observe oneself and see one's flaws--that is a gift. Your daughter is so lucky to have you!

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  7. Thanks Bhavana,

    Someday I wish to hear that from my daughter!

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  8. Awesome!! This was my inatant reaction to your post.Sweet nothings between Mother and Daughter!! But at the same time so relevant.

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    1. Thank you so much, ma'am. I definitely need your wishes and blessings so that I do not falter on this so important job!

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