Tuesday, 5 February 2013

A Date with Destiny


Where am I…do I know this place? A quaint building…desolate, withered. Overcast ominous sky. Why I am here…there is no road. I am making my way through a vast ground strewn with boulders, potholes. But where am I going…ouch! My foot hits a rock… I stagger but don’t feel any pain…

I stir a little, feel soft, fluffy pillow against my face, curl up my legs.

I open my eyes, strangely fully awake. Everything is calm, pitch dark. That’s unusual. I turn on my back. Where is that hazy street light filtering through curtains? I know Aarush is sleeping besides me, though I can't see him.

I feel uneasy. It is not calm; it is strangely still, a bit eerie! My pulse is uneven, I notice. Beads of sweat slide down my temples. Is Ac not working? I am feeling restless a bit. A slight weight on my chest!

Something is wrong, I can’t place somehowA strange pressure is increasing on my chest, I can’t feel any touch, neither can I feel anybody around, but someone is pressing on or is it something? Now I am getting anxious…

I try to speak, reach Aarush. But neither my tongue nor my fingers move. I am paralysed  pinned down to the bed by an unseen force… powerful, palpable. Only my eyes are alive, moving frantically. A strange circle is building around me.

I…see something, hazy, shaky...visions…materializing, dissolving. A lady squatting on floor with a man who looks like… may be a priest. It is not well lit. The man is doing something, sitting in front of a ceremonial fire, tying something with a thick thread, muttering undecipherable syllables. The lady looks on intently. Tremulous gleam of fire is throwing everything in a maze of dim light and darker shadows. Do I know her…or the man? No. I can’t make out what they are up to but instinctively know that they are responsible for my current state. 

Circle is tightening its grip around me. My mouth is going dry, tongue leathery. I am feeling like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, powerless, hopeless, hapless.

I can see my life being snatched away…slowly, painfully…is this death? I am…hardly breathing. My heart is pounding loudly against my ribs…pulse is dropping gradually…I am waiting for what seems inevitable. Can I do nothing? I scurry my mind for any last hope, any proverbial straw...

Next Part - A Date with Destiny - The Retreat


Pictures taken from: Google Search




49 comments:

  1. This is gripping ... what happens next?

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  2. Oh don't leave us hanging like that! Great dramatic build!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, You will read the next part soon.

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  3. Ohw! Does all these happen before death?
    waiting for next part...

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  4. The levels of awareness and all the knowledge about death give me the creeps! But, very beautiful write up...more like a poetic-prose!Lovely...

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  5. Beautiful narration, loved the beautiful flow flow of words, so vivid, so alive.
    So is the plot.. the thought, the drama, the thrill, the mystical element.. ingredients of an engaging story..

    Thoroughly loved it dear. I am tuned in for the next part. Bring it on. :)

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    1. Thanks Deepak, I hope it doesn't disappoint you!

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  6. The eternal question, what is death and how does it feel to die? You have captured the confusion very well...waiting for the next part...

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    1. Thanks Reshma, that's really encouraging.

      Once I started with the story, it really got out of my hand and took its own course. I hope you like it.

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  7. Spooky, scary and suspenseful - Waiting for what happens next!

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  8. the narrative is scary yet gripping.I also experienced the same feeling while going through the words.Suspense, suspense and more suspense.Waiting with baited breath for the next part.

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    1. Thanks Ma'am, I hope you find the next part worth the wait and expectations.

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  9. Gripping! ...waiting for the next part:)

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    1. Thanks a lot for reading and encouraging me to hop ahead!

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  10. You bring the picture before my eyes--it was almost as if it was happening to me-such a vivid description & a gripping start....wonder why all this is happening!

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    1. You will get the answer soon as the story unfolds. Thanks for reading.

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  11. Hi Meenakshi,

    Congratulations!

    Your Blog just won Liebster Blog Award! Your blog has been chosen among the other few for this award.

    More details on my blog at -
    http://www.farzadminoodamania.blogspot.com/2013/02/liebster-blog-award-my-first-blog-award.html

    My best wishes to you. Happy Blogging..!!!!

    Thanks.
    Regards,
    Farzad Minoo Damania

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    1. Thank you so much Farzad. I am honoured and humbled.

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  12. Gripping till the end! Excellant narration too!! Waiting for part 2//

    http://ponderingtwo.blogspot.in

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    1. Thanks Rohan, I hope you find the next parts equally enjoyable.

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  13. Its beautifully written...waiting for next part. FYI when i first read it reminded me of sleep paralysis but that lady and the priest got me spooked. ( sorry made a typo so posting again )

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    1. Thank you so much Nandini, This is definitely not sleep paralysis.

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  14. that's an engrossing start! let's see what happens next. i am about to publish the next part of one of my posts. but after reading your post, i am finding mine quite shallow.

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    1. Not at all, I read your post, it is excellently hilarious and oh so Deb. Thanks for reading and finding it worth appreciating.

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  15. Wow! very interesting. When is the next part coming?

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    1. Sorry, Jas for replying late. Now you have the next part. I hope you enjoy!

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  16. Hi Meenakshi,

    You're getting better day by day. :)
    That was a mysterious start to a series, I' left wanting to know more about what happens next.
    Keep up the good work, waiting for the next part :)

    Regards

    Jay
    My Blog | My Entry to Indiblogger Get Published

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    1. Thanks for such an amazing compliment, Jay! It also scares a bit. Now I have to live up to the expectation. Read the next part and please let me know your opinion.

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  17. very nice Meenakshi. waiting for the next :)

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  18. interesting waiting for the next part

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  19. This is so much like my dream that i used to see around 5 yrs back. All i know is i could try but cudnt shout, i could try but coudnt run. It felt as if i was turned a statue and only my mind was left alive in me. it had no communication with my body. http://neoimaginations.blogspot.in/

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    1. I am happy you could relate to it though it sounds a bit strange. I hope you find next part interesting.

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  20. Oh loved it...your descriptions are amazing am really waiting for the next part to read...

    you really have a prowess to be a writer...great work...!!!

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    1. Thanks Anjan, what can I say, I am still a learner and has a long way to go.

      But thanks for such lovely words.

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  21. Meenakshi

    I missed this one , but today when I came to second one , I realized that there was a first part to it .

    I can just say WOW to your description. I have no more words in my vocab. Secondly it feels to me as a feeling of certain death . But let me go to next.

    Travel India

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    1. Thanks Vishal! I am so happy that you felt intrigued to come back and read the first part. You need this kind of appreciation to believe your own work.

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  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. Thanks for this wonderful compliment, Ishika. But I am not one of the bloggers who started writing with the dream of writing a book eventually. I never ever thought about writing till five months back. Seems to be a far fetched thought.

      But thanks for your warm words. It means a lot to me. Seriously!!

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  23. Why don't you write a book Meenakshi?? Your each word is so well written that the entire story plays in the form of a movie in my brain.
    Too good... And seriously loads to learn from you. :)

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