Excruciating
Ripping apart,
pain unknown
Gasp for breath
Gasp for breath
Convulsions pick
pace, paralyze
Helpless, I bide
time
Helpless, I bide
time
Pain priceless
reaches crescendo
Bite lips, soak
in
Bite lips, soak
in
Fervent prayers
sent forth, deliverance
Sweet cries
Im reading this form of haiku(a set) after a long long time, and I don't think it could have been any better. Wonderful expressions. *takes a bow* Pain can be enormous, but all it takes to express is the subtle gestures which you captured in these line, that's the beauty of it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sankara, that so generous of you. I am glad you liked it!
ReplyDeleteThis pain was indeed precious ... such a lovely haiku illustrating the joy of life that comes with sweet cries ... amazing !!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your ever encouraging comments:)
DeletePain worth bearing. Great words.
ReplyDeleteThanks Anthony!
DeleteI am sure many would say they would not mind having this pain .. it is so special
ReplyDeleteBikram's
Surely they would say, that's why women are special;)
ReplyDeleteThose sweet cries make it all worthwhile!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, dear!
DeleteWhoever said women are the weaker ones sure needs to rethink. Of-course the joy of motherhood overshadows all the pain...
ReplyDeletecouldn't agree more! Thanks Reshma!!
DeleteThe pain of motherhood is forgotten when she sees the baby ~
ReplyDeleteabsolutely, thanks Grace!
DeletePain that is mysterious can be most testing. But when it is childbirth no pain can match the joy. Nice cascades Meena!
ReplyDeleteHank
agree Hank, this is a totally unknown pain, but the result is worth enduring!
Deletea sweet story told there brilliantly.. made me remember my childhood days.. injections used to freak me out.. they still do.. ironically, i am a doctor!
ReplyDeletei loved the way you concluded the story.. deliverance.. sweet cries..
fantastic... as always..
So, nice to know that you are a doctor. and glad that you liked it!
DeleteThanks a ton!
I think those sweet cries are what make the pain worthwhile for any mother.. A lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vinay, I hope it met the syllable restriction!
DeleteWonderfully expressed!!! Love this...
ReplyDeleteHeavy breath near cold fireplace
Thanks Pranita, I read yours, its awesome!
ReplyDeleteAhh!! those cries are sweet!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful writing Meenakshi :)
Thanks for these sweet words, Valli:)
DeleteSuper ! Perfect description of a mother's experience during childbirth !
ReplyDeleteThanks Prema!
Deletesuperb. what a description!must say can't be better.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
DeleteHere's my request. You'l see it on other sites I've selected -
ReplyDeleteI'm affiliated with a new National Pain organization that is not up on the web yet. (I'm not paid!)
With permission I would like to send them your Pain Haiku as they are interested in using creative expressions in promos and/or the site itself. However, I need written permission.
If you give permission send me an e-mail at judithwesterfield@gmail.com with a cut-n-paste of the haiku you are giving permission for and whether if you want your name attached or want to remain anonymous.
Judith
Ah... sweet cries! I think of the baby after the pain. I won't say how painful childbirth was for me. I had anti-pain shot. Your haiku though paints a wonderful picture of what moms can endure for love.
ReplyDeleteThanks for liking, Hazel Ceej!
DeleteThis was lovely!
ReplyDeleteThanks Deepak!
DeleteSo amazingly captured...
ReplyDeleteAnd the sweet cries of the baby will be replaced by cries of pain..
But this time tears of mother whose children abandon them in oldage
http://locomente.blogspot.in/2012/12/pain.html
Thanks Satya, Ya that's the other end of spectrum, and that pain is difficult to endure!
Deletevery few could have described it better than you!!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this wonderful compliment!
DeleteIndeed its the precious pain...its was captivating..
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for visiting and reading!
DeleteOw, what a vivid, beautiful description of the birthing porcess. Very well crafted. Thanks for the visit.
ReplyDeleteThis is exquisite. I have never given birth, but I could feel it.
ReplyDelete